God's Love

His love is beyond the love I can ever understand humanly and it takes away my breath each time I think about it. A traitor, sinner, blasphemer, hypocrite like me could be loved by such a holy God touches the depths of my soul that he would love a person like me. I cannot understand the depths of his love for me but all I know is he calls me to love others because he loves me. It is such a humbling and difficult call to love God with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself, because my neighbor is anyone I see even my enemy which is a difficult task with the perceived rights that I have. the rights that I seem to fall back on over and over again my right to hold a grudge, to withhold love when in fact God loved me when I completely turned my back on him and he calls me to love those who hate me. This type of living is so radical because it can only come from God because he gives us the ability and understanding of what it means to love our enemies and everyone around us because he first loved us. Yet each and every day I seem to struggle to love others, when will I die to myself and love God and people more than I myself want too. I am reading the book works of love Soren Kierkegaard and it is a challenging read because he dissects the topic of love in such detail that you see what it means to love God and love your neighbor. It makes me think how can I love everyone I see, it first must come by loving God and then because of this love I can love others. it can never be about me solely loving others because we are created to love God first then others, God gives me the power to love, so often I want to love others without loving God or vice versa and it is very often that I am good at both. It is a struggle constantly to walk with God and love others at the same time, I believe this is my ultimate goal I am working towards but it requires a relentless pursuit of God first and a relentless and radical love for every human being I see. Love is the ultimate change that I need within my life.