Here and Now

I am sitting in my room and cannot fall asleep, so many thoughts invade my cranium, love,past, what will be, what has been, what my children will look like, what my wedding day will feel like, most of all sleep evades me, I want to be with God and for him to speak into my life but it seems like so often I avoid him by my actions, I want him so badly but the more and more I want him the more and more I walk away from him. My life seems to be walking in circles trying to find out where to join his path instead of my own...finally giving up my rights and to sit within his authority over my life...why do I battle when I know what is better...which is his authority over my life.....i need for him to possess my heart and for me never to take it back again...

Marriage

I was thinking today about me getting married. This thought is something I often think about but not in depth and one thing that stood out to me today while I was thinking about it was the fact that I must love my wife with an abandon. I was reading Proverbs 5:18-23 and it really convicted me to love my wife with a love that cannot be contained. There is no one in the world that means more to me than Rachel Fonseca and I cannot wait to show her through my life, words, and actions.

frustrations

Life is confusing, assuming it makes sense, Situations your placed in by your next of kin, Father, Mother, brother who really knows each other do I love till the end? God is the one who has begun to change my view like a crystal clear pool, At times I just wanna unwind, forget my thoughts forget the ought’s, Terrible my moods switch from happy to sad, from mad to glad, depressed to stressed, can’t wait till my last breath cease, till the moments of peace flood my body, eternal state forever no tears never here, fears released