Music...

One Thing
Music is my refuge
in the good times and bad
it has carried me from the lowest valley
to the highest clouds
from my younger years to present
it has been a present to my soul when nothing else makes sense
it speaks to my emotions helps me cope with anger
allowed me to understand and love God more
and for many times it has been a friend with many voices
whether it is healthy or not...its sometimes the only thing besides God
and my fiance who connects with my soul

how he loves us

this really touched my heart today more than anything in a long time

Church..basic or not?

What I have come to realize over the years is that the way that I have viewed church has transformed to an institutionalized organization to a body of beleivers growing with God through meeting with him through prayer, worship, and genuine learning from each other. This has transformed from the beginning of my view of what the church really looks like when I went to my dad's church to how I have seen the spiritual decline in the church and a promotion of a striving for leadership to mutual growth within the body. This has come through different classes where I have realized that my own view of the church was unhealthy and that basically some of the practices within the church did not allow other beleivers to really participate in the life of the church. The basic premise of what I am saying is that every believer is required to be involved because this is the calling when people become christians. It is not passively sit in pews and listen to worship and not be invovled with the spiritual life of the church but it is to be actively involved by using the spiritual gifts that we have been given. Prayer and worship as a body where believers are given the chance to contribute and where every person grows in the community. This is what my perception of the church is now and I think that it is refreshing to me that people are actually seeing how the church is in need of reform and that we need to change the way we do things.

Understanding situations

Sometimes feels like life comes at you harder than you expect and I think that sometimes I have allowed myself to not process things in depth. God has been teaching me lately that I need to grieve things more than I ever have in my entire life and to probe my reasons for doing the things that I do. My life is lived in reflection and thought and this is ultimately the best way for me to get out my frustrations, problems, and issues. Therefore I am ultimately letting God infiltrate my cranium and probe me deeper than he has ever been before.