The importance of the little things

the little things are the efforts to love others more than yourself and sometimes I myself have failed to do the right things. I fail to see how I can impact a persons life with the little things the little nice commments, doing something for someone else with no thought of compensation, the attitude I convey to others. I was working the other day and I thought to myself I could make someones day by lightening there load of work and it started with this thought....just thought it can be important to others more than we ourselves even know. The little things can change a life or alter a decision no matter how busy life gets its important to treat others with love.

God's Love

His love is beyond the love I can ever understand humanly and it takes away my breath each time I think about it. A traitor, sinner, blasphemer, hypocrite like me could be loved by such a holy God touches the depths of my soul that he would love a person like me. I cannot understand the depths of his love for me but all I know is he calls me to love others because he loves me. It is such a humbling and difficult call to love God with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself, because my neighbor is anyone I see even my enemy which is a difficult task with the perceived rights that I have. the rights that I seem to fall back on over and over again my right to hold a grudge, to withhold love when in fact God loved me when I completely turned my back on him and he calls me to love those who hate me. This type of living is so radical because it can only come from God because he gives us the ability and understanding of what it means to love our enemies and everyone around us because he first loved us. Yet each and every day I seem to struggle to love others, when will I die to myself and love God and people more than I myself want too. I am reading the book works of love Soren Kierkegaard and it is a challenging read because he dissects the topic of love in such detail that you see what it means to love God and love your neighbor. It makes me think how can I love everyone I see, it first must come by loving God and then because of this love I can love others. it can never be about me solely loving others because we are created to love God first then others, God gives me the power to love, so often I want to love others without loving God or vice versa and it is very often that I am good at both. It is a struggle constantly to walk with God and love others at the same time, I believe this is my ultimate goal I am working towards but it requires a relentless pursuit of God first and a relentless and radical love for every human being I see. Love is the ultimate change that I need within my life.

Death, Life, and God

In the middle of night, cant go to sleep, thoughts encompass my brain, this is something that calls to all us. A silent sleeper, a quick pill, a car crash, cancer, and murder. This all involves death, the one thing humans have no chance of escaping therefore we must face what happens when we die. For a long time I took it for granted that I knew what happens when I die. I thought doesn't everybody, but I have been thinking lately about how many people really have no answer for what happens when they die or where they go, do we just go into the ground never to return, do we become gods and rule our own planets, do we get 99 virgins, do we reincarnate. All these answers to life's questions about something that happens after this life we live. I have come to the conclusion that the only plausible solution to this answer to death is belief in after life, or else what would be the point of living such a life here and now, to acquire wealth, a family, possessions, friends, wealth, power, success, does this buy happiness when your body will decay in 85-110 years after it comes to life. This conclusion does not come on our own but God reveals it to us, it is amazing to me how awesome God is when I think about it. He reveals his salvation to us when we don't even follow him he is working in our lives, when we do accept him he comes into our hearts and helps us to live life the way he designed us to, he is the one who saves us and gives us eternal life. This life would be so empty without God he gives it meaning and purpose or else life would be about self pleasing rather than living for God who created us. these are just some of my thoughts which exhaust my head day and night but its good to think because without thoughts our actions would go nowhere

Here and Now

I am sitting in my room and cannot fall asleep, so many thoughts invade my cranium, love,past, what will be, what has been, what my children will look like, what my wedding day will feel like, most of all sleep evades me, I want to be with God and for him to speak into my life but it seems like so often I avoid him by my actions, I want him so badly but the more and more I want him the more and more I walk away from him. My life seems to be walking in circles trying to find out where to join his path instead of my own...finally giving up my rights and to sit within his authority over my life...why do I battle when I know what is better...which is his authority over my life.....i need for him to possess my heart and for me never to take it back again...

Marriage

I was thinking today about me getting married. This thought is something I often think about but not in depth and one thing that stood out to me today while I was thinking about it was the fact that I must love my wife with an abandon. I was reading Proverbs 5:18-23 and it really convicted me to love my wife with a love that cannot be contained. There is no one in the world that means more to me than Rachel Fonseca and I cannot wait to show her through my life, words, and actions.

frustrations

Life is confusing, assuming it makes sense, Situations your placed in by your next of kin, Father, Mother, brother who really knows each other do I love till the end? God is the one who has begun to change my view like a crystal clear pool, At times I just wanna unwind, forget my thoughts forget the ought’s, Terrible my moods switch from happy to sad, from mad to glad, depressed to stressed, can’t wait till my last breath cease, till the moments of peace flood my body, eternal state forever no tears never here, fears released

Music...

One Thing
Music is my refuge
in the good times and bad
it has carried me from the lowest valley
to the highest clouds
from my younger years to present
it has been a present to my soul when nothing else makes sense
it speaks to my emotions helps me cope with anger
allowed me to understand and love God more
and for many times it has been a friend with many voices
whether it is healthy or not...its sometimes the only thing besides God
and my fiance who connects with my soul

how he loves us

this really touched my heart today more than anything in a long time

Church..basic or not?

What I have come to realize over the years is that the way that I have viewed church has transformed to an institutionalized organization to a body of beleivers growing with God through meeting with him through prayer, worship, and genuine learning from each other. This has transformed from the beginning of my view of what the church really looks like when I went to my dad's church to how I have seen the spiritual decline in the church and a promotion of a striving for leadership to mutual growth within the body. This has come through different classes where I have realized that my own view of the church was unhealthy and that basically some of the practices within the church did not allow other beleivers to really participate in the life of the church. The basic premise of what I am saying is that every believer is required to be involved because this is the calling when people become christians. It is not passively sit in pews and listen to worship and not be invovled with the spiritual life of the church but it is to be actively involved by using the spiritual gifts that we have been given. Prayer and worship as a body where believers are given the chance to contribute and where every person grows in the community. This is what my perception of the church is now and I think that it is refreshing to me that people are actually seeing how the church is in need of reform and that we need to change the way we do things.

Understanding situations

Sometimes feels like life comes at you harder than you expect and I think that sometimes I have allowed myself to not process things in depth. God has been teaching me lately that I need to grieve things more than I ever have in my entire life and to probe my reasons for doing the things that I do. My life is lived in reflection and thought and this is ultimately the best way for me to get out my frustrations, problems, and issues. Therefore I am ultimately letting God infiltrate my cranium and probe me deeper than he has ever been before.